


Ordering a single black coffee

by Yandere_Shoujo



Series: Children yelling McDonalds McDonalds McDonalds [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Everyone is unhappy, Gen, Memes, mcdonalds, platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 23:25:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14067864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yandere_Shoujo/pseuds/Yandere_Shoujo
Summary: "Children yelling McDonalds McDonalds McDonalds" meme in Kingdom Hearts drabble form.





	1. Xaldin

Xaldin did not babysit. He was not particularly fond of children. His way of dealing with kids was usually picking them up by the scruff of their shirts and tossing them somewhere.

Someone had sown the seeds of knowledge into the black faced fourteenth member, to which he by some twist of fate landed a mission with at Beast’s Castle.

“Xal…din?”

He didn’t pause or slow his stride as he “Hn”-ed in response.

“What’s a McDonalds?”

What was unexpected. He looked down to the hooded child but its face gave no hint of emotion.

“Where did you hear about such a thing.”

“I heard Xigbar say it. He said… that it was something magical.”

Xaldin’s eyes narrowed at the memory of grease. Particularly the way it clung to every surface and a time where his hair had to be bound in a heavy net.

“Oh yes. It was magic alright. A magic that held sway over everyone’s wallets.”

“What kind of magic is it?”

“Why bother asking? You can’t care about it.”

Xion was put off by the man’s ever curt nature, but he wasn’t nearly as bad as Saix and she continued.

“The others… in the Grey Area I mean. It made them laugh. And, how can you laugh about a place? I thought that maybe, it could be important to go to.”

“And I take it you have the foolish notion to go?”

Xion wanted to say that she would like to, but Roxas warned her talking about emotions with Xaldin was asking for an instant shut down. So she chose her words carefully.

“I think that if it’s so powerful, it could have a really strong hearts connected to it. And, since I’m supposed to use my Keyblade to help, shouldn’t I do something about it?”

Xaldin had to concede, it did have a point. Yet it was ignorant of the true purpose of a McDonalds. It was a powerful place, but explaining a food chain would be a waste of time.

“Alright, I will show you its power.”

* * *

 

Xion stared in awe of the large, glass castle before her. Through windows, she could see children playing in a fortress, people standing around inside, people sitting outside eating things she’d never seen before.

They were smiling, laughing, and the golden crown shaped like an M stood glowing atop it all. Xaldin was several steps in front of her by the time she snapped out of her awe to catch up.

Their black attire didn’t cause the smiling employee to bat an eye, and Xion didn’t know clothing could be so colorful. This place was truly magical.

So enamored with the mirth of the atmosphere, she nearly missed Xaldin’s declaration of “We’re going.”

In his hand, he held a small up that wafted steam from a small opening.

“What is that?” she asked, taking last looks at the massive building.

“Coffee.”

Together, they found a secluded area farther off to return to the castle.


	2. Larxene

Children were loud, annoying, sticky and often smelly. She didn’t like them. And now she had one at her heels that wouldn’t stop mumbling to itself.

“Sheesh kid, don’t you ever shut up? You’ve been grumbling about something the entire mission!”

Roxas’ spikes swayed as his head jerked up.

“I’m.. um. Sorry.”

“Not like I care or anything, but what are you even talking to yourself about?”

“Oh, well.” Roxas stopped walking when Larxene also stopped to stare down at him from the tip of her nose. Being put on the spotlight, he stammered. “W-well, I heard about this place from Axel. He said it was amazing, the best place anybody, even a Nobody could go.”

“And what is this place?”

“Mc… McDolans?”

Larxene snickered then burst with laughter.

“It’s McDonalds. Even a stupid kid would know that much.”

Roxas flinched in on himself. “I’m sorry.”

“Pfft. No you’re not. So, you wanna go to Mcee Dee’s huh?” she grinned and placed both hands on her hips. “Of course you would. It is a place for babies too.”

Roxas was positive he wasn’t a baby, but he was also just several days old so maybe it counted in some absurd way or other.

“I guess…” he looked down, unable to meet the electric, malicious grin Larxene wore. It was impossible to tell when she’d lash out.

“Don’t look so downcast kid, I’ll show you McDonalds.”

“Really?” Roxas looked up, surprised.

“ _Suuure!_ Come on, follow me.”

* * *

 

Roxas didn’t know there could be so many people in a single place. It looked like thrice the entire population he’d seen in Twilight Town. Kids, adults, even old people. Some stood in line, some were sitting, but they were all there for the same thing.

A little girl screaming caught his attention and his head jerked to the brightly, multi colored sign labeled “PLAY PLACE” and saw the source hurling a small ball at another child. Another popped its head out of a mass of them. Larxene speaking drew his attention to the glowing sign board of multiple screens. Some played videos of foods, another swiped to show another list of options.

“Order #189, small black coffee!” someone yelled.

Larxene strode to another section of the long counter before them to accept the cup and back to Roxas.

“This is a McDonalds. Now let’s RTC.”

Roxas wasn’t sure what just happened as he followed her to the RTC point, but something told him he was missing out on something important.


	3. Xemnas and Marluxia

Xemnas and Marluxia were two different people, so to speak, at seemingly opposite ends of a spectrum while being incredibly close. Marluxia opposed Xemnas and knew he didn’t have their best interests at heart… so to speak.

In the end, they both wanted the same things, but had entirely different ways to go about it. There was one thing that they shared and neither could deny.

They both ordered the same thing from McDonalds.

Did they long for something of their past selves, something that made them human?

Not entirely, no.

But they remembered long nights, they knew what cold was. And they both could respect a freshly brewed McCafe coffee. Brewed every 30 minutes so as never to keep a customer waiting, it was something that could be relied upon. Effective immediately, both could withstand a full night’s research or long fight as long as they had that dosage of invigorating beverage.

It wasn’t often they met in person, Xemnas choosing to be who knows where and Marluxia preferring to dig up every secret he could about the man, just out of sight.

They both crossed paths on a stairway, both looking tired and neither with their hoods up.

“Ah, Superior.” Marluxia bowed his head and made a sweeping motion with his arms to the side. Being overly submissive would certainly detract any thought as to why he was heading in the direction Xemnas was just at, that was clearly not a place most members should go to.

“Marluxia. Such grandiose is not necessary.”

Marluxia’s jaw tightened with the slight clench of his cheek but erased it as he stood to his full height.

“As you will.”

It would be bad if he kept heading in his initial direction, and worse to suddenly turn the other, so he spoke once more.

“Superior, an inquiry if you allow?”

Xemnas gave no physical reaction. “Yes?”

“Do we possess coffee by chance? I have no map of this… very large place. So I wouldn’t even know where to look.”

The other man looked down, blinking. He really did need a cup himself. The Castle That Never Was provided an assortment of amenities for basic living, but there was not a single kitchen.

“No. We do not have coffee.” His tone sounded more like he was admitting it to himself in realization instead of talking to the other Nobody there.

“I see, that is quite unfortunate. I suppose I will seek it elsewhere.” Marluxia was conscious of his pacing as he turned to walk the other way, but froze.

“Wait.”

The sound of a portal opening and Marluxia steeled himself to draw his weapon if need be.

“Come.”

Confused, he turned to see Xemnas walking forward.

* * *

 

Hoods up, the pair sat at a yellow, square table in a patio are under a red parasol. Both held cups in gloved hands, bringing them up to disappear briefly into darkness and back to sit on the table.

Children were staring, and parents physically turned them around or opted to sit indoors despite the warm sun out.

Neither spoke, instead recharging themselves with the bitter yet flavorful taste of Agrabah beans ground to perfection and served as the hot beverage of choice from the McCafe conveniently located in a world close by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my McDonalds advert.


End file.
